Q

Anonymous asked:

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE BODY AFTER THE BLOOD SACRIFICE? MY FIRST ONE THAT COMMENCED THIS WEEKEND DID NOT GO AS PLANNED AND I NEED POINTERS.

A

…YOU DO NOT EAT YOUR SACRIFICES? IT NEVER OCCURRED TO LION HEAD THAT THIS WAS AN OPTION, BUT TO EACH THEIR OWN.

LION HEAD HAS LITTLE PATIENCE FOR AMATEURS BUT APPRECIATES NEW LITTLE LION CUBS EAGER TO GET INTO THE SACRIFICING TRADE, SO HERE IS WHAT I RECOMMEND.

GO TO THE TINY SQUIRREL SHOP AND BUY A SHOVEL, THOUGH SOMETIMES THOSE FLEABAGS REFUSE TO SELL USEFUL TOOLS AND INSTEAD SELL STICKS WITH STRING FOR THE CATCHING OF FISH, (WHICH IS LIKE A TINY SACRIFICE BUT NOT NEARLY AMBITIOUS ENOUGH AN ENDEAVOR TO SATISFY LION HEAD).

DIG SOME HOLES AWAY FROM ANYONE’S HOUSE AND BURY THE BODY. WAIT A FEW WEEKS AND DIG IT UP. TAKE THE REMAINS TO THE SLEEPY CHICKEN AT THE MUSEUM AND HE WILL PUT THEM ON DISPLAY MISTAKING THEM FOR SOME KIND OF DINOSAUR TORSO. YOUR SACRIFICE IS COMPLETE, YOU MAY NOW RELAX IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THE HUNGER OF THOSE BEYOND OUR COMPREHENSION HAS BEEN SATISFIED AND THEY HAVE RETURNED TO THEIR SLUMBER.

ALTHOUGH REALLY, I DO HAVE SOME RECIPES INVOLVING MARINARA SAUCE IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

I WILL DESTROY YOU,

TEDDIE “KING OF THE GRILL” LIONHEAD.

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Q

Anonymous asked:

marry me -3-

A

I DO NOT WISH TO MARRY UNLESS MY POTENTIAL SPOUSE AND I HAVE COMMON INTERESTS AND BELIEFS. FIRST, HOWEVER, WE MUST GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

SO.

THIS WEATHER WE ARE HAVING IS CERTAINLY WEATHER. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LOCAL SPORTS TEAM?

Q

Anonymous asked:

LION HEAD. I WANT TO MAKE HOT LOVE TO YOU WHILE THE PINK MOOSE WATCH. AND THEN WE SACRIFICE THEM.

A

… I DO NOT WISH TO DO THIS.

Q

Anonymous asked:

What's your favorite song that goes well with the screams of anguish from your sacrifices, and why is it Yakety Sax?

A

HA! FOOLISH MORTAL, ATTEMPTING TO PREDICT MY ANSWERS. YOUR SCREAMS OF TERROR AS I FEAST UPON YOUR FLESH SHALL BE MOST PLEASING.

AS EVERYONE KNOWS, THE BEST MUSIC FOR SACRIFICES IS OBVIOUSLY YAKETY SA—

OH.

Q

kimisanerd asked:

LION HEAD SACRIFICE ME I DO NOT WISH TO LIVE ANYMORE THANK YOU

A

VERY WELL, YOU SHALL BE ADDED TO THE LIST. BUT KNOW THAT MY LIST OF EVENTUAL SACRIFICES IS LONG, AND THAT THERE IS A LARGE WAITING PERIOD BETWEEN CEREMONIES. I HAVE TO SECURE THE VENUE, FIND THE RIGHT VICTIMS, KIDNAP THEM FROM THEIR BEDS IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT,  DESTROY ANY WITNESSES… IT TAKES QUITE SOME TIME.

PERHAPS YOU COULD TAKE UP A HOBBY, SUCH AS KNITTING, INSTEAD

Q

ribbons-and-music-and-feathers- asked:

Why is the skin tone on your head different from the skin tome on your arms?

A

MY NAME IS “LION HEAD”, NOT “LION HEAD-AND-ARMS”.

Q

Anonymous asked:

Uhm, is this where I signed up to be sacrificed? Because I heard about it on the tour of the town, and I really want to be sacrificed... if that's no trouble for you that is,

A

The following is an automatically generated message from Mayor Theodore LION HEAD

HELLO FUTURE SACRIFICE.

SO, YOU AGREE THAT YOUR SOUL EXISTS ONLY FOR THE CONSUMPTION OF THOSE FROM THE VOID WHOSE NAMES WE DARE NOT SPEAK, AND HAVE GRACIOUSLY STEPPED FORWARD TO SATISFY THEIR GRUESOME HUNGER FOR YET ANOTHER UNKNOWABLE PERIOD OF TIME.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND CONTACT INFORMATION ON THE SIGN IN SHEET AT TOWN HALL. RITUALS WILL COMMENCE REGULARLY ON SATURDAYS (UNLESS THERE IS A BUG CATCHING CONTEST) AS SOON AS THE PUBLIC WORK PROJECT FOR THE MASSIVE FIRE PIT IS FULLY FUNDED.

PLEASE DONATE.

SEE THE YELLOW DOGLADY IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS.

THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING.

I WILL DESTROY YOU.

MAYOR LION HEAD.

Q

redpandaspaghetti asked:

Lionhead, what is- er, that is, LIONHEAD. I AM CURIOUS OF AS TO WHICH ANIMAL CROSSING VILLAGER HOLDS THE MOST SPECIAL PLACE IN YOUR HEART? (Thank you~)

A

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Q

Anonymous asked:

what the fuck is wrong with you

A

NOTHING

BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR KEYBOARD. YOUR LETTERS ARE TOO SMALL AND THIN.

Q

sherlockianbatch asked:

Hey lion head, ive got animal crossing any chance for a new mayor getting ya friend code??

A

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN BY FRIEND CODE. IS THERE SOME KIND OF SECRET I MUST SOLVE IN ORDER TO HAVE FRIENDS?

PERHAPS THAT IS WHY THE VILLAGERS FLED IN TERROR WHEN I ATTEMPTED TO START AN OPEN DISCUSSION ON THE TECHNICALITIES OF MY FAVORITE BLOOD SACRIFICES.

OR PERHAPS THESE ANIMALS ARE JUST NOT ACADEMICALLY-MINDED